Author: Nairobi 🐣❤️

Smart.social.silly.strong.straight up class act.🙃

6.3 personality traits I’m proud of

Post author By Nairobi 🐣❤️
Post date December 18, 2022
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I haven’t done much research about personality traits but according to google, personality traits exist to pin down peoples characters and behaviours,the five personality traits is a theory developed in 1949,the personality traits described on the article I read were extroversion,agreeableness,openness,conscientiousness and neuroticism.I feel like I have all the five personalties,I am just glad I only have to write about the ones I’m proud of, I honestly don’t like that I could be neurotic,that’s my least favourite.

*“‘Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.’ ‘But it’s worse for me.'”*
*– Jonathan Safran Foer, ‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’.*

1.openness – openess includes imagination and insight.If it means being open minded then I’m proud that that’s a trait I have, it allows me to explore more and learn about things I couldn’t have learnt if I wasn’t eager about what happens when “this and and that ninis”… I don’t know if my habit of waking up with a new everyday also counts as being open to new ideas but if it does then I’m proud of the fact I allow myself to try and be bad at things with no shame whatsoever,don’t they say we have to suck at something to be good at it? I am proud that this is a trait I have cause its allowed me to have new skills and now I know random facts about things and places. I also love exploring the internet and all the new apps there can be.

2.agreeableness –agreeableness is having prosocial skills.I’m an empath who is emotionally intelligent, I feel like I’m emotional ly intelligent because, most times my friends come to me when they need someone to share their woes with also one time a friend even said to our common friend that she loves the fact that I know what say whenever she’s going through anything.Knowing that I made her feel better on her bad days and even happier on her good days!? Well it’s true a little kindness does go a long way,I also work as a social worker and its something I have always wanted to do for the longest.I’m proud that this is a trait I have because it makes it easy for me to be affectionate and kind to everyone around me.

3.conscientious –this involves high levels of thoughtfulness,and good impulse control,and goal directed behaviors.I’m not sure if this counts but I plan my days,I have to write down things I need to do everyday because I sometimes get carried away and forget to get things done so it only made sense if I had a to do list,to me that’s a goal directed behavior,the joy that comes with ticking things of my to do list is unmatchable,I sometimes procrastinate but I always ensure that the things I intended to do are done and completed ,I also think I have good impulse cause I’m careful enough not to intentionally hurt people with my words and actions, I am proud of this trait because it helps with my organizational skills and I get to be the one that plans dates among my friends which gives me a chance way to pick that joint have always wanted to try.

I wish I had my friends involve to tell me what traits best describe me,but its to late to involve them ,Selfassesment wasn’t that hard now that I have a vague understanding of what personality traits are.

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.Earliest childhood memory

Post author By Nairobi 🐣❤️
Post date December 4, 2022
7 Comments on .Earliest childhood memory

My childhood memories are filled with fun and games I really did take that play hard advice from my teachers seriously and I would always get into trouble for always not finishing my school work.

I have so many memories from childhood but my earliest is when I fell of the back of a moving track, when i was five ,lol i must have been the weirdest five year old girl,my best friend was a boy so I spent most of my time around him and his friends and we played all sorts of games together ,one of our neighbours had a pickup ,whenever we saw him starting his car we would always run and dandia the back of his truck and jump off before he went too far from where we used to stay. So one day as I was about to jump on the truck I missed and hit the ground ,I even bruised my shoulder,That was the last time I ever tried jumping on or off a moving vehicle.

If only I could go back in time and relive those moments,I was always the loudest and bravest of my friends, I wonder where I got this shyness from ,I don’t remember being as shy when I was younger.

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Me,myself and I.

If you’ve been following me here, then you’ve noticed that I haven’t been posting for quite some time,the last blog I wrote was early this year,but things are about to change,I hope, a few days back I came a cross a months long writing prompts that really caught my attention and I immediately asked a friend of mine ,who is also a writer, to be part of this exciting trip, well ,more of a selfawarness journey.the challenge is to write something new about myself everyday for those thirty one days and I’m hoping that by the time we are done with the challenge I will no longer have a problem with people asking me to tell them more about myself.

A few days back I was called in for an interview and before I could get into the interview room one of the recruitment team members decides to hint me ,I understand his aim was to help but he made anxious,anxious because when I left home my dad had told me to be myself and things would be great but this kind man knew what the company needed and being myself wasn’t going to get me the job, he mentioned that the best personality fit for the job was an extrovert and genourously added a tip to the company’s secret “as you go in be as extroverted as possible,” he said ,and as I walked in the interview room I kept thinking of ways I could be extroverted and when I couldn’t think of an extrovted thing to say that’s when I knew the job wasn’t for me,I am an ambivert but my introverted side overpowers my extrovertism.

It was now time to introduce myself and I remember saying something like”hello my name is Gladys and I work as a social worker in kibera,” I went on and on about what my duties were as a social worker and this whole time the voices in my head were having a very heated argument, because I knew I was more than just a volunteer,I love what I do I just wasn’t at peace with myself ,it made no sense to me,why should my job become my whole personality, and I remembered how I never did limit myself when it came to introductions, I would proudly tell everyone I met my name ,my favourite color the school I went to what I had for lunch the new toy I just got my favourite introduction was “hey my name is Gladys and I am a soloist,”I really loved singing games and being the soloist was my greatest achievement as a kid.why can’t I be as vulnerable and honest to myself as I was as kid? I should have told her my name and my undying love for the arts but we have to accept that it reaches a point in life where being honest and open about yourself isn’t socially accepted.

I know I’m not the only one,but in my highschool years,I had to change my introduction to what was normal then and every time I met a guy I liked or girls I considered cool I always did say something like ,”hey I’m Gladys and my music of choice is hiphop,” I had to fit in with the cool kids I even spent my holidays learning all those rap songs I even don’t care about now,I couldn’t just be myself and tell everyone how much I loved spongebob and avocados because if I did maybe I wouldn’t have been friends with the coolest people in my school.Highschool was fun but I couldn’t wait for University.the thought of being a young adult thrilled me.

I was more excited about University ,Brownish might have over sold uni for me but I wasn’t disappointed much and when I got to uni my introduction had changed to “hi my name is Gladys and my major is Education.”I knew most people didn’t care about what I studied in university but at that momment that was the only suitable introduction.I didn’t do much in university maybe just hang out in my hostel and complain about deadlines and morning lectures.Experincing those slow and boring days made me realise that I didn’t enjoy being ‘safe’i needed to put myself out there , I was a bit aware of myself and I would with no shame let people know that my favorite artist group was hart the band and not Migos and with being true to myself my life was now filled with really great people,I’m a living testimony of the cliché saying that your vibe attracts your tribe. Cause now I have people to laugh with and experience everything I could ever think off without feeling weird about myself and I keep reminding myself that being truthful about who I was is what made my life so wonderful.

Today as an adult my name is meaningless and I am my job,How much i earn,and my indipendence as a woman,not than I hate my job I actually love and enjoy being there for those vulnerable children,I’m really passionate about lots of things I’m just disturbed by the fact that I can’t honestly talk about myself with just anyone without the fear of being judged .

The bagging question here is how should I introduce myself,its still not an easy one but you obviously know me quite well by now but in case I haven’t been so clear My name is Gladys and my favourite thing to do is put a smile on peoples faces,oh’ and my smile is beautiful and contagious

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Of heart desires

Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.
*~Tupac shakur*

Dreams are a fruitful way to think of experiences and our future life .Everyone has a cherished aspiration,you might be dreaming of a car you like,travelling the world, graduating from school,having a happy family or even just getting to to talk to your crush,its obviously different for everyone

We talk about our dreams to our friends and family with great enthusiasm about how our future life would be with hopes that they would stick around long enough to see us achieve our goals.

Yearly, we all are quick to write down what we would like to achieve by the end of the year, we are also happy to tick out some of our achievements from the previous year,yet we have to rewrite some of our goals yearly hoping for things to be easier and better during the new year but that shouldn’t stop you from dreaming.Delayed achievements shouldn’t be enough reason to keep you from your dreams.

This year instead of feeling sorry,guilty or sad for not reaching some of your goals, instead take your time and think of some of the things that might have blocked you from your goals,is it something you could improve on,was it out of emotional blockage ?

What’s on your wish list this year ?Mine is to acquire eternal peace,be full of love and joy .maybe be a little nicer .

As a ten year old my biggest goal was to be grown and rich now that I’m grown not rich yet of course, I’m twenty something now and my definition of rich has shifted I still want the deep pockets though but I rather be rich by heart .

As you keep dreaming big or small,I’m wishing you a greater year one filled with lots of love and joy.

Tags #New Year, #resolutions

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Tomorrow

I am sorry I wasn’t In the mood for human interaction today,I needed some time to breathe , I am sorry my smile hasn’t been part of my outfit,I am sorry I didn’t make you laugh today,I am sorry I almost drowned in my own tears,I am sorry I wasn’t your ray of sunshine today, I am sorry, Tomorrow I’ll be good,I’ll put on the warmest smile and I’ll be more than willing to share my loud laugh with you,I’ll dance to your music,I’ll brush my teeth and my hair too ,I’ll put on that beautiful dress I’ll change I promise. tomorrow I’ll be good.(I hope)

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Loud introvert

My friend just called me a loud introvert,just because I don’t really enjoy having a lot of people around me and yet I don’t keep my mouth shut, not around my closest friends always I would be ready to talk and probably laugh about a meme I came across, a book I read,a movie I didn’t like and probably my amazingly crazy life encounters.

To be honest I really don’t think I’m an introvert.I prefer the term ambivert.I am high-key a story teller and not just on paper.I’ll always be talking about this or that.

Someone said that’s uncommon for most “writers”and “poets” and I didn’t really find it necessary to correct his statement,to be Frankly honest,I have never really owned any of those titles,but I do know my teachers thought I was really good at writing but let’s face it.I was only ten maybe thirteen. I feel like my love for the subject ( English) really played a role.

A few days back I came a cross a writing prompt,”why I write”to be honest I feel like I only write when I have no one to vent to.I write when I have no one to talk to.I write when sad nigga hours choose to kick in, that explains why most of my writings are emotional train wrecks.Soon,I am not sure when,but soon enough I’ll probably write about unicorns and rainbows.

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To my Love .

In about two months from today marks two years since I was aware of your existance,At that exact time you definitly were the best thing that might have happened to me ,now, looking back you probably are the worst thing that have come across in my 20 almost 21 years of life .

You barely cross my mind lately,but today morning poetic justice by Kendrick Larmar rose your ashes, why am I like this? Ever since I met you everyone else became non existant , and after you left they all turned to prawns on my chessboard.

I remember how we would confide in eachother during our aimlessly strolls in a barely known environment to us both, I remember feeling warm and safe in your arms , how you pulled me away from the road to ensure my safety.how you would laugh at my not so funny jokes, how you would pull me away from cars that drove towards me, why don’t I throw myself at a moving vehicle now that you aren’t here, cause what’s the point?

I must admit I miss how you would take me to heights of happiness without even trying, after you left I drove myself to peaks of madness ,I turned bitter towards everyone and almost everything and would cry myself to sleep.How I Stared at the only picture I had of us and in between sobs I would ask God to take the pain away.

What was is it with you anyway? You were awkwardly skinny, your fashion sense unremarkable, and your shoes ever dirty. You were defined and disformed by your previous afflictions .But I loved you.I loved how you gave me all what you had to give, money you didn’t have, time you couldn’t waste , I loved that I had all your attention.

You were my world and after you left it all crashed down.In case you’re wondering how I turned out after my heart was as empty as a purse with only two or three coins.I filled up the space with your not so admirable traits. I baldy shaved my hair, I am overly sarcastic, I lie, I lie about where I am or who have been with, I lie to people that I love them and even go to an extent of showing just how much I do, I act like I care but I don’t.and when i get bored my mind wanders to you and how perfect you are.I dont cry anymore mostly cause my tears ran dry after a whole year of shamelessly tearing up for you.

I like what am gradually turning to but at times I get scared of being you.Have been called names , have been accused of being mean and ruthless yet I sleep like a baby at night.Nights that have dreamt of you hoping to see your face when I wake up.I miss you.

The heart is an artist that paints over what profoundly disturbs it, leaving on the canvas a less dark, less sharp version of truth, similarly I really can’t get a sharper glimps of what mighy have happened between us,but am sorry for not giving you my all when I had the chance.Because all I ever wanted was the best for you .I LOVE YOU .

Aagh sh*t here comes the tears again.

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21.

Its a month to my birthday and I’m not really sure how to feel about it,I can tell I’m not excited about it,I am turning 21 and I don’t think I’m ready.If only I was 12 again,that wasn’t my best year either but I don’t mind reliving it.

Growing older is inventible and I believe change is part of the problem,when I was 12 my only problem was the changes that comes with adolescence and probably my maths homework.

Now that have existed for two whole decades I have realized that as we grow older we are entitled to pick and follow our own paths that aren’t that smooth,everyone is likely to come across a rough patch and how you choose to cross it might have a great impact upon your life.

The best way to be alive is by living a life that’s true to yourself ,are you a good person cause you want to be one? Or are you a good person because you want to be viewed as one?, this is one of the many questions I keep asking myself.

I can’t be the only 20 year old that isn’t sure of who they are ,well I do know what I like and the kind of people I enjoy spending time with but there’s a lot I don’t know,but I do know where I want to be in life and I have a vague idea of what will get me there but there’s much I still have to know.

I feel like have lived through a 1/4 of my life and its truly not an easy task,I wonder how my autobiography had to be the hardest thing I have to write.if only growing younger was an option.

It bothers me that life is considered parrarel with cyclic events,we all are born to live and live to die.

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Joyful conversations

It’s the first day of the month,third day of the week.Normally I’ll be excited or maybe not,I am not sure of what mood I would have had,if I wasn’t stuck at home.In my previous years,during this specific time of the year marked the beginning of the other half of the year.Today is when I’ll would probably go back to my resolutions. Normally, disappointed for not meeting my expectations .This year ain’t any different apart from the fact that I can now shelter my failure to achieve bla and bla under the alien that’s invaded the world.

So i’m going on with my un eventful day telling a friend of Mine how lately have been feeling overwhelmed and tired.catching up with another friend on how her baking skills are getting better . Nothing pretty unusual was happening ,I have my earphones on and you can tell I’m enjoying the type of music that was playing ,you could tell cause I was singing along as my head did that thing it does when euphonic music is playing .

It’s around 8.30pm when I decide to switch my phone on, (it wasn’t off off but you know when you pretend to be on a plane and intensionally a set your phone to flight mode? No? I do that karibu kila saa) soo I receive this phone call from one of my favorite friends and out of no where I think it’s safe to say I was walking on sunshine the whole time I had her on phone I don’t know if it’s cause she’s full of this bubbly nature or it’s cause she’s a good friend and I love her.

I really enjoyed talking to her mostly cause she believes I am a star and she repeatedly reminds me that I am a woman 😂, that’s supposed to make Me stronger I don’t know how it works but ,hey ,I truly am a woman.

I enjoyed every bit of that conversation even though most of it was us complaining about our miserable love lives, we added a bit of fashion tips here and there and maybe we mentioned something about nani *we found unusual and laughed kidogo about it.

I just love how open and free we can be when we are together, and how our phone conversation are only cut short by that beep that reminds us we didn’t have enough airtime . I’m really glad she called today.

Ps. The only reason she’s not my best friend is … we still don’t know what it’s takes to be one,lol we both are really miserable no wonder we have so much In common ,we don’t think having BFFs is really necessary.

But I still love her to Rongai and back!!❤️❤️.

I thought I should add that she’s really beautiful with long beautiful hair and an amazing personality. Now you know why she’s my friend ,mostly cause of her personality and her undying love for the ARTs!!..

Okay am done know! 💛💚🐥✨🌼

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Friendship

Have been trying to understand what the word friendship really stands for lately, in my mind I had the general idea of it being an unbreakable bond between people with a common interest or habits.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one that sits and thinks about life and how some past situationships and relationships turn out,I find myself reminiscing on the good nights and days I got to spend with my friends and how loudly we would laugh if one of us told a joke.

When I was younger I would really cry if someone didn’t want to be friends with me anymore and I would really wonder what I did wrong to deserve the brutality,I mean I was still an innocent child that only wanted a friend to play with but now that I’m older I’m learning that we have three categories of friendships,we have friends for a season,reason and lifetime.

If only things could turn out differently between A,B,C and l?if only I took a different approach,Maybe I should have written a letter,maybe I should have used better words to explain myself ,I don’t know but maybe I shouldn’t have said it the way I did,just maybe?

I believe that we should definitely do all that we can do to save a friendship or relationship that we value, however if it becomes draining it’s okay not to try too much,besides not everyone is meant to stick around forever,as much as not everyone enjoys watching their friendships fade away there are times we just have to let the ship sink.on the bright side we get to keep the lessons and memories with us ,if you are lucky you probably have a few pictures that have stories about your friendships and this situations help us grow and they pretty much strengthen us.

Friends that are for a reason only pass by our lives to teach us a lesson or help us grow and probably strengthen us ,the same thing with the seasonal friendships but we have friends that turn to family the friends that are ready to stick by you no matter what.friends that choose heart over matter the friends that still choose you even when you have no heart.

People come and go,it’s not really something that you would want to happen but it happens,and if you don’t try and stop it from happening you might get peace.In my opinion if you let those reason and seasonal friendships go you probably won’t lose everything but you will have gained memories,lessons and you probably have experienced growth .