“Why have you been in a bad mood lately ?” A friend ,that cares about my change of mood, asked me earlier last week ,and all I did was smile and said something about the weather being gloomy,I mean how was I supposed to tell her that I said goodbye to my forbidden lover?
We’ve had this conversation before and I promised never to see him again,how will I tell her that I lied ,you can’t blame me, his touch is addictive and when I spot him from miles away my mind goes on a vacay,have tried to keep a distance but when it come to This man ,my decisions, like brushstrokes on the canvas of my life, are inspired by a fervent yearning, an insatiable hunger that defies reason and embraces the primal depths of desire.
How will I tell her that every time this Man looks into my eyes ,everything I stand for crumbles beneath the weight of my transgressions .She can’t get me . I have to keep it all to myself , I don’t expect her to understand how every time he moved a step closer the flickering flames within me unabatedly burnt consuming all my doubts and fears.
I wholly blame myself ,its my avaoidant attachment style ,I loved being with him only because I didn’t have to show affection he had his girlfriend for that,there’s a battle between my heart and my mind ,I thought I got this ,the whole time I played myself,how will I tell her that I’m sad about losing a man I should have avoided from the beginning? How will I let her know how , her wise words of advice didn’t really seat with me ,does she have to know that I let my desires forsake me?
No one has to know how I feel about him, I’ll seek solace in the melodies of music, I’ll let the melodies drown my sorrows. I can’t tell her how my heart aches at the thought of no longer being by his side, how i cherished every stolen moment we shared .
I have beautiful marks of regrets within me, for I always knew our time together would be short lived.I’m just happy, I experienced the depths of love and passion with him, even if it was bound by circumstances. He has left an indelible mark on my soul , and I will forever cherish the memories we created, holding onto the lessons and takeaways from our “love”. As I bid him farewell, I genuinely wish him the utmost happiness and fulfilment in his life’s journey.
The voices in my head 