Me,myself and I.

If you’ve been following me here, then you’ve noticed that I haven’t been posting for quite some time,the last blog I wrote was early this year,but things are about to change,I hope, a few days back I came a cross a months long writing prompts that really caught my attention and I immediately asked a friend of mine ,who is also a writer, to be part of this exciting trip, well ,more of a selfawarness journey.the challenge is to write something new about myself everyday for those thirty one days and I’m hoping that by the time we are done with the challenge I will no longer have a problem with people asking me to tell them more about myself.

A few days back I was called in for an interview and before I could get into the interview room one of the recruitment team members decides to hint me ,I understand his aim was to help but he made anxious,anxious because when I left home my dad had told me to be myself and things would be great but this kind man knew what the company needed and being myself wasn’t going to get me the job, he mentioned that the best personality fit for the job was an extrovert and genourously added a tip to the company’s secret “as you go in be as extroverted as possible,” he said ,and as I walked in the interview room I kept thinking of ways I could be extroverted and when I couldn’t think of an extrovted thing to say that’s when I knew the job wasn’t for me,I am an ambivert but my introverted side overpowers my extrovertism.

It was now time to introduce myself and I remember saying something like”hello my name is Gladys and I work as a social worker in kibera,” I went on and on about what my duties were as a social worker and this whole time the voices in my head were having a very heated argument, because I knew I was more than just a volunteer,I love what I do I just wasn’t at peace with myself ,it made no sense to me,why should my job become my whole personality, and I remembered how I never did limit myself when it came to introductions, I would proudly tell everyone I met my name ,my favourite color the school I went to what I had for lunch the new toy I just got my favourite introduction was “hey my name is Gladys and I am a soloist,”I really loved singing games and being the soloist was my greatest achievement as a kid.why can’t I be as vulnerable and honest to myself as I was as kid? I should have told her my name and my undying love for the arts but we have to accept that it reaches a point in life where being honest and open about yourself isn’t socially accepted.

I know I’m not the only one,but in my highschool years,I had to change my introduction to what was normal then and every time I met a guy I liked or girls I considered cool I always did say something like ,”hey I’m Gladys and my music of choice is hiphop,” I had to fit in with the cool kids I even spent my holidays learning all those rap songs I even don’t care about now,I couldn’t just be myself and tell everyone how much I loved spongebob and avocados because if I did maybe I wouldn’t have been friends with the coolest people in my school.Highschool was fun but I couldn’t wait for University.the thought of being a young adult thrilled me.

I was more excited about University ,Brownish might have over sold uni for me but I wasn’t disappointed much and when I got to uni my introduction had changed to “hi my name is Gladys and my major is Education.”I knew most people didn’t care about what I studied in university but at that momment that was the only suitable introduction.I didn’t do much in university maybe just hang out in my hostel and complain about deadlines and morning lectures.Experincing those slow and boring days made me realise that I didn’t enjoy being ‘safe’i needed to put myself out there , I was a bit aware of myself and I would with no shame let people know that my favorite artist group was hart the band and not Migos and with being true to myself my life was now filled with really great people,I’m a living testimony of the cliché saying that your vibe attracts your tribe. Cause now I have people to laugh with and experience everything I could ever think off without feeling weird about myself and I keep reminding myself that being truthful about who I was is what made my life so wonderful.

Today as an adult my name is meaningless and I am my job,How much i earn,and my indipendence as a woman,not than I hate my job I actually love and enjoy being there for those vulnerable children,I’m really passionate about lots of things I’m just disturbed by the fact that I can’t honestly talk about myself with just anyone without the fear of being judged .

The bagging question here is how should I introduce myself,its still not an easy one but you obviously know me quite well by now but in case I haven’t been so clear My name is Gladys and my favourite thing to do is put a smile on peoples faces,oh’ and my smile is beautiful and contagious